What I’ve learned about making change

The first time I watched my eldest daughter compete at her primary school athletics carnival I noticed something I never thought to question when I was in primary school. In every single race the boys went first.

When we got home that afternoon I asked my daughter what she thought about it. Her response was that it’s because the boys are faster. In the coming days I asked some of her friends and some of my friend’s daughters and their responses were along the same lines - the boys were better or faster than the girls so they raced first.

It really bothered me - that in this modern world, we were still teaching our girls they aren’t as good as boys. It blew my mind actually.

Watching the boys race first at my kid’s school athletics carnival ignited my change making passion

So I wrote a letter to the principal asking if in future carnivals he would consider racing the girls first, or alternating between age groups in a way that was fair to all.

His response was that the structure was inherited from zone, regional and state carnivals and that it would be staying as it was.

The next year on the eve of the athletics carnival, I wrote a similar letter, which this time was received by the deputy principal as the principal was on leave. Her response was vastly different - she took it on board and passed my letter onto the teachers organising the carnival. Without any fanfare the girls raced first in every track event, and the boys competed first in every field event.

Six months later I again wrote to the principal (not on leave this time) on the eve of the swimming carnival saying how great it was to see the equality at the previous athletics carnival and that I hoped it would be repeated. His reply was completely frustrating, explaining how he felt comfortable with the existing (outdated!) structure and that it wouldn’t be changing.

It made me so angry, I replied with an essay on unconscious bias, citing studies and as much research as I could find in a bid to change his mind. I spoke about it to anyone who would listen. But he wouldn’t budge and in the end I had to let it go.

When the athletics carnival rolled around again I didn’t have the energy to try and pick it up again. And so it stayed the same, boys first, girls second.

But then, the following year at the swimming carnival, something totally surprising happened, the girls raced first! By now there was a new principal, but I hadn’t brought it up, and I’m not sure how it came about, but the small ripples that I had started in previous years had built some kind of momentum.

It honestly made my year - it felt like one of my biggest achievements to date - more so than building a media company, or seeing my byline in a national newspaper, or negotiating an exciting partnership.

Reflecting on the huge sense of achievement I felt, was a total ‘aha’ moment for me, where I realised how motivated I am by making change.

What I know about making change

I still don’t know exactly how the change happened. Maybe it was the emails to the principal, maybe it was me talking to anyone who would listen about it, or maybe it was starting the conversation with the kids. I’d say it was all of it, the tiny ripples that started appearing the minute I started questioning something that had gone unnoticed for so long.

I had almost given up on my quest to make it fair for boys and girls to compete at their school carnival. For a period of time I was passionately advocating for something I believed in and used the full gamut of my skillset to try and affect change. It got to a point though where I was tired, I had given it all I had, and I felt like I hadn’t gotten anywhere. And then out of the blue (it seemed) the change happened.

I think the lesson is that for anyone who is trying to make systematic change, it’s not straight forward and it is certainly not easy (or for the faint hearted!). But I think that just by trying, we have the ability to create these small ripples of change that while not noticeable to begin with, have the potential to be the foundation of real, lasting change.

So I guess the call to action for this newsletter, is to anyone who is building something, working at changing something or doing something hard, keep going, because you never know who is listening, watching or absorbing, it’s probably having more of an impact than you know.